Why Would God Allow This?

Introduction:

5 Ways to Fail at Relationships:
(Ecclesiastes 4:1-5:7)

1. Don't show Compassion . (Eccl 4:1-3)
2. Work for the wrong reasons. (Eccl 4:4-8)
   1. Envy : bad motivation. (Eccl 4:4-6)
   2. Greed : bad motivation. (Eccl 4:7-8)

3. Don't see the Benefits of relationships. (Eccl 4:9-12)
   1. You get More (and Better) work done. (Eccl 4:9)
   2. You have help when you're in Trouble . (Eccl 4:10-11)
   3. It's Safer . (Eccl 4:12)
4. Refuse to take Action . (Eccl 4:13-16)
5. (Regarding God) Talk , don't Listen . (Eccl 5:1-7)

   2 ways to "guard your steps":

   1. Come expecting to Learn from God. (Eccl 5:1-3)
   2. Don't try to Bribe God. (Eccl 5:4-7)

   Matthew 22:37-39 - And he said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself."

Sermon Notes (PDF): BLANK
Hint: Highlight blanks above for answers!

Small Group Discussion
Read Ecclesiastes 4:1-5:7

1. What was your big take-away from this passage / message?
   

2. How well do YOU take advice (Eccl 4:13)? Do you seek out advice? Why or why not? How do you respond to “unsolicited” advice?
   

3. Is it appropriate to make a vow to God (Eccl 5:4-6)? Why or why not?

Breakout
Pray for one another to go after healthy relationships.

Tearing Down the Wall of Offense (Guest Speaker)

Introduction:

Proverbs 18:19 - A brother offended is harder to win than a strong (walled) city, And contentions are like the bars of a castle.

Helping YOU to overcome the debilitating effect of accumulated offense.

The nature of offense

Luke 17:1 - And he said to his disciples, "Temptations to sin are sure to come, but woe to the one through whom they come!

To not be offended is impossible!

The author of offense

John 10:10 - The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

Satan - ministry of death, theft and destruction

The path of offense

Hebrews 12:14,15 - Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no "root of bitterness" springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled

ROOT OF BITTERNESS - GOTCHA!

The remedy for offense

Matthew 5:23-25 - So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. 25 Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are going with him to court, lest your accuser hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you be put in prison.

Matthew 18:15-17 - If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

Corinthians 10:4,5 - and all drank the same spiritual drink. For they drank from the spiritual Rock that followed them, and the Rock was Christ. Nevertheless, with most of them God was not pleased, for they were overthrown in the wilderness.

Are you ready to be set free?

Sermon Notes (PDF): BLANK
Hint: Highlight blanks above for answers!

Small Group Discussion
Read Proverbs 18:19
(If you like, review any other passages on relationships we covered on Sunday!)

1. How has offense affected your life?

2. Who suffers most when our lives are governed by offense?

3. When offense is allowed to accumulate, what are the results:

   • Spiritually?

   • Emotionally?

   • Relationally?

   • Physically?

4. Read Genesis 50:20. How do Joseph’s words apply to the accumulated offense in your life?

5. Read 2 Corinthians 10:3-6. How will taking every thought captive aid in your path to victory in overcoming the accumulated offense in your life?

BREAKOUT
Are you struggling with a particular relationship in your life? Pray for one another to forgive and restore those hurt relationships.

Stop Grabbing Random Dogs!

Introduction:

Proverbs 26:17 - Whoever meddles in a quarrel not his own is like one taking a passing dog by the ears.

Four Reasons I Will Not Be a "Meddler":

1. It's Foolish .

   Proverbs 18:6 - A fool's lips walk into a fight, and his mouth invites a beating.

2. It's Hateful .

   Proverbs 10:12 - Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.

3. It's Dishonorable .

   Proverbs 20:3 - It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling.

   Luke 12:13-14 - Someone in the crowd said to him (Jesus), "Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me.” But he (Jesus) said to him, “Man, who made me a judge or arbitrator over you?"

4. The Lord Hates it!

   Proverbs 6:16-19

   1 Peter 4:15 - But let none of you suffer as a murderer or a thief or an evildoer or as a meddler.

Why do I want to get involved?

What do I hope to accomplish?

Sermon Notes (PDF): BLANK
Hint: Highlight blanks above for answers!

Small Group Discussion
Read Proverbs 26:17
See also Proverbs 18:6, Prov 10:12, Prov 20:3, Prov 6:16-19, Luke 12:13-14, 1 Peter 4:15

1. What was your big “take-away” from the passage / message?

2. What do you think motivates someone to “meddle” in something that is not their business?

3. This Proverb specifically indicates that meddling can bring harm back on yourself. In what ways can you get “hurt” by meddling?

4. How do you know when you SHOULD get involved in an argument between two others?

5. How does meddling reveal a “hate-filled” heart (Proverbs 10:12)? Why does God hate “sowing discord”, ranking it up there with murder and theft? See Proverbs 6:19, 1 Peter 4:15.

BREAKOUT
Pray for one another to walk wisely by avoiding strife.

Walk Wisely: I'm Offended! Now What?

Introduction:

Proverbs 19:11 - Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.

What is NOT "overlooking"?

1. Getting Even
2. Holding a Grudge
3. Slander

How Do I Overlook an Offense? When You Are "Triggered", Ask Yourself:

1. Is there some Truth here? Then I'm just going to overlook the offense.

   Proverbs 27:6 - Faithful are the wounds of a friend...

   Luke 11:37 - While Jesus was speaking, a Pharisee asked him to dine with him, so he went in and reclined at table.

2. Is there a chance I Misunderstood what was said? Then I'm just going to overlook the offense.

   1 Corinthians 13:7 - Love... believes all things...

3. Am I making a big deal out of a Minor issue? Then I'm just going to overlook the offense.

   Philippians 4:5 - Let your reasonableness be known to everyone.

4. Is this a Lost person just acting like a Lost lost person? Then I'm just going to overlook the offense.

   Luke 23:34 - Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.

5. Do I Love the offender? Then I'm just going to overlook the offense.

   Proverbs 10:12 - ...love covers all offenses.

Sermon Notes (PDF): BLANK
Hint: Highlight blanks above for answers!

Small Group Discussion
Read Proverbs 19:11

1. What was your big “take-away” from this passage / message?

2. Why do you think people seem so anxious to be offended today?
   On a scale of 1-10, how easily offended are you? (1 = nothing offends me, 10 = everything offends me)

3. When is it okay to be offended? How do you know when it is appropriate to be offended?

4. How does being “slow to anger” help you overlook offenses?

5. How does the forgiveness of Christ motivate you to overlook offenses?

   Bonus: What was the craziest thing you’ve ever heard someone be offended over?

BREAKOUT
Pray for one another to grow in being slow to anger and quick to overlook offenses. What kind of a church would HBC be if we all lived by Proverbs 19:11?

Walk Wisely: Seduction Destruction.

Introduction:

How to Avoid Destruction by Seduction (Proverbs 6:20-35):

1. Let God's Word direct you, not your Feelings. (Prov 6:20-24a)
2. Watch out for Bait. (Prov 6:24b-25)
3. Consider what it Will Cost you. (Prov 6:26-35).

1. The consequences are Inevitable. (Prov 6:27-29)
2. The consequences will get you no Pity. (Prov 6:30-31)
3. The consequences are foolishly Self-Destructive. (Prov 6:32-35)

Proverbs 4:26 - Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure.

Moral Fences:

1. I will not ride alone in a car with someone from the opposite sex other than my spouse or immediate family member.

2. I will not counsel the opposite sex alone– in a closed room or more than once.

3. I speak often and publicly about my affection for my spouse, when s/he is present and when s/he is not.

4. I will compliment the opposite sex on character, not appearance.

5. I will give my spouse total access to my cell phone / computer.

Sermon Notes (PDF): BLANK
Hint: Highlight blanks above for answers!

Small Group Discussion
Read Proverbs 6:20-35

1. What was your big “take-away” from this passage / message?

2. List the consequences this passage lays out that people will face by getting involved in a wrong relationship.

3. If the danger is so obvious, and so devastating, why is this temptation so alluring?

4. What “moral fences” have you implemented to protect yourself?

BREAKOUT
Is there an inappropriate relationship that you have been flirting with? What do you need to do to repent?