Introduction:
How Do You Stop Hatred from Growing in Your Heart? (Matthew 5:21–26)
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By putting it to Death when it First Appears. (Matthew 5:21–22a)
1 John 3:15 – Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.
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By refusing to Kill others with Destructive words. (Matthew 5:22b)
Ephesians 4:29 – Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
- By seeking after Immediate Reconciliation. (Matthew 5:23–24)
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By remembering what’s At Stake. (Matthew 5:25–26)
1 Corinthians 6:10 – ...nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.
Sermon Notes (PDF): BLANK
Hint: Highlight blanks above for answers!
Small Group Discussion
Read Matthew 5:21-26
What was your big take-away from this passage / message?
Are you struggling with anger/hatred? How can you deal with it right now before it gets out of control?
Read Ephesians 4:29 - What are some practical ways to control your mouth and keep corruption from spreading to others?
Why is it so hard to admit your faults and ask for forgiveness?
What are the consequences of giving yourself over to hatred and unforgiveness?
Breakout
Pray for one another.
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Turn your Bibles to Matthew chapter 5 verses 21 through 26.
Matthew chapter 5 verses 21 through 26.
We live in a culture that is absolutely obsessed with murder.
There are dozens and dozens of true crime podcasts that delve into the nitty-gritty details
of the worst crimes imaginable.
Who has ever listened to a true crime podcast?
No shame.
Just asking.
There are seemingly thousands and thousands of TV shows that are centered around murder
investigations.
Let me just list a few.
Blue Bloods, Only Murders in the Building, Criminal Minds, Chicago PD, Sherlock, Bones,
Castle, The Rookie, Longmire, Colombo, Psych, Monk, Murder She Wrote, Diagnosis Murder.
Then there are the franchises that have spun out an endless amount of added-on shows, right?
Law and Order, Law and Order Special Victims Unit, Law and Order Criminal Intent, Law and
Order LA, Law and Order Trial by Jerry, Law and Order True Crime, Law and Order Organized
Crime, NCIS, NCIS Origins, NCIS Los Angeles, NCIS Hawaii, NCIS New Orleans, NCIS Sydney,
CSI, CSI Miami, CSI New York, CSI Los Angeles, CSI Vegas, CSI Cyber, CSI Sheboygan, CSI Wexford.
Okay, wait.
Those last two don't actually exist, but at the rate they're pumping out these spin-offs,
you never really know.
But millions of people tune into these kind of shows every single week to watch fictional
murderers face justice.
On top of these podcasts and TV shows, we even play a board game with children that
is all about murder.
That board game is?
Who has ever played Clue at some point in their lives?
I don't want to explain the basic premise, right?
Okay, three to six players, you're all trapped in a mansion and one of you murdered Mr. Bodie,
who owned the mansion.
Was it Ms. Scarlett, Colonel Mustard, Mrs. White, Mr. Green, Mrs. Peacock, or Professor
Plum?
The whole purpose of the game is to figure out who is the murderer, what is the murder
weapon, and what is the location of the killing?
Again, this is a game for children.
If the game can end with an accusation like this, Colonel Mustard in the conservatory
with a candlestick.
Maybe you love playing this game growing up because you like to solve the mystery, assign
the blame for murder, and point the finger at made-up characters.
But what if I were to tell you that every single person in this room is guilty of murder?
This is in my opinion, it's not a suspicion, a hunt or an unfounded accusation.
This is a clear and simple fact from the mouth of our Lord.
According to Jesus Christ, we are all Colonel Mustard in the conservatory with a candlestick.
And you may be thinking, "Taylor, I don't know about the person next to me, but I have
certainly never murdered anyone in cold blood."
Well, you may be innocent of physically murdering, but there is no wiggling out of the reality
that you are guilty of spiritually murdering in your heart by hating others.
And again, I know that some of you may be resisting what I'm saying already.
You think to yourself, "I don't hate anyone.
I am pleasant with everyone."
I mean, sure, there are some people I intensely dislike.
There are some people I vent about constantly.
There are some people I avoid at all costs, and if I saw them in the grocery store, I
would run in the opposite direction.
But hey, that's different.
Is it different?
Maybe you are dressing up your hatred to make it look nice and acceptable when it is actually
cruel and dishonoring to the Lord.
No matter who you are, how nice you may appear, you are not exempt from hatred.
Because you have to understand that murder is not just an action.
It is a state of heart in mind.
We have been studying the Sermon on the Mount since February, and we are in the second section
of our study, "The Heart of the Law."
Last week, Pastor Jeff taught that Jesus Christ didn't come to abolish the law, but to perfectly
fulfill it through His life, death, and resurrection.
And throughout the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus demonstrates that the law is not skin deep.
It actually drills down deep within you to your heart.
Jesus cares about who you are on the inside.
He is far more interested in the internal than the external.
In Matthew 5, verses 21-26, Jesus exposes your greatest desires, fears, and innermost
feelings which you try to keep hidden away from others.
Jesus pulls your anger into the light to show you how truly ugly, subtle, and destructive
it actually is.
Jesus doesn't do this to humiliate you.
He does this to help you.
Jesus doesn't do this to condemn you, but to change you from the inside out.
Because hatred cannot be allowed to fester.
It will hollow you out on the inside, and it will hurt everyone around you.
So how do you stop hatred from growing in your heart?
Well, our passage for this morning offers four methods of extermination that will keep
the infection from spreading.
Before we cover those, let's go to the Lord and ask for His help.
Please pray for me that I will faithfully proclaim God's Word, and I will pray for you
that you will joyfully receive God's Word.
Father, we thank you for this most important appointment of the week.
We gather together as your people to worship you, to encourage one another, and to sit
under the proclamation of your Word.
Lord, I thank you that you watch over your Word to perform it, and that your Word accomplishes
every purpose for which you send it out.
I pray this morning that you would do your work in our hearts and lives.
We ask all this in Jesus' name.
Amen.
So how do you stop hatred from growing in your heart?
The first method of extermination by putting it to death when it first appears.
By putting it to death when it first appears.
Let's read verses 21 through 22.
Jesus says, "You have heard that it was said to those of old, you shall not murder, and
whoever murders will be liable to judgment.
But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment."
So Jesus kicks off a pattern that we see six times in Matthew chapter five.
You have heard that it was said, but I say to you.
And at first glance, it may look like Jesus is changing one of the six commandments.
It may look like he is erasing the original meaning and coming up with something brand
new.
But as Pastor Jeff said last week, Jesus came not to lessen the law, but to elevate it.
Jesus is not changing the sixth commandment.
He is simply revealing something that has always been within it, but has been ignored.
He is not contradicting God's word.
He is contradicting the Pharisee and scribes incomplete interpretation of God's word.
The religious leaders of Jesus' day thought and taught that the sixth commandment of,
"You shall not murder," only applied to the physical acts of homicide in manslaughter.
They put this commandment into a box and ignored its deeper meaning.
And here is the heart of the sixth commandment.
Do not give yourself over to unrighteous anger, which leads to the act of unjustly ending
someone's life.
Anger is the first domino in that chain reaction.
The religious leaders limited the scope of God's command and the process they limited
its impact.
By viewing the sixth commandment in this way, a religious leader could look at himself and
say, "Hey, I am perfectly keeping this commandment.
I have never clubbed someone over the head.
I've never pushed my neighbor off a tall building in a fit of rage.
God must be so proud of me, but internally they are killing people by despising them,
despising tax collectors, sinners, and Gentiles."
In this passage, Jesus corrects the massive oversight of the men who should know the law
better than anyone else, but have missed the entire point.
They have missed the heart.
Jesus is saying, "Don't think you're safe and sound because you have no bodies buried
in your backyard.
You were on the hook for a serious crime and heading for serious consequences if you have
hatred and anger and bitterness buried in your heart."
It's especially egregious to be angry with fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.
Why is that?
You know, as a dad, it pains me to watch or read news stories about kids being bullied.
But do you know what would be worse than watching strangers be mistreated, finding out that
one of my own kids is being bullied?
Do you know what would be the worst of all?
Discovering that one of my kids hates and actively tries to hurt his or her sibling.
It grieves the heart of God to watch his children despise and attack one another.
And John talks about this in his first epistle.
He says, "Everyone who hates his brother is a what?
A murderer.
And you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him."
At this point, you may be frustrated thinking, "Wait, so you're saying I can never be angry
with anybody, especially if he or she is a Christian.
How is that possible?"
To be clear, Jesus isn't saying that anger is always sinful.
God gets angry.
God hates sin and what it causes.
Jesus got angry throughout the Gospels.
As a human, it is impossible for you to not feel feelings of betrayal, of annoyance, and
frustration.
Jesus isn't condemning anger in general.
He is condemning a very specific kind of anger.
In this passage, the word for anger in the Greek is orgizō.
And this is a fuming, a boiling anger that is nurtured and intensified like a pot of water
on a stove.
You keep dialing up the temperature, keep dialing up the intensity until it overflows
and scalds people.
This kind of anger twists your heart.
It distorts how you view other people.
You may even danger about bad things happening to this person.
You may want this person to get what's coming, to get what they deserve, to be publicly humiliated
and to feel the same exact pain that you feel.
When you hate someone, you are communicating this message to the Lord.
Lord, I don't care if that person dies and I want them out of my life for good.
Now, you would never say that out loud, but that's what you're feeling in your heart when
you harbor bitterness.
Because that person is dead to you when you never ever want to see him or her ever again.
In your book, it's like they've been wiped out of existence.
It's like they've fallen off the face of this earth.
That kind of anger is a spark that can be snuffed out or fanned into flame.
It's challenging to put to death in its infancy, but it's way harder to kill once it's fully
grown and is out of control.
And this principle holds true in every other area of life.
If you had gone to the dentist, when you first noticed that tooth pain, you could have avoided
the unpleasant and very expensive root canal.
That small leak in your attic would have been much more manageable whenever it was a small
drip, but now every single time that it rained, it's like a waterfall in your attic.
Even care of your yard would have been much easier when you pulled weeds as they popped
up, but after months and months and years of neglect, there are weeds everywhere.
In those moments, you noticed a problem, but you did nothing about it.
You stuffed it down instead of honestly addressing the issue.
Never turn a blind eye to your sin.
Only when it comes to unrighteous anger and hatred, when you see that root of bitterness
pop up, be relentless and pulling it out and throwing it away instead of giving it room
to breathe and to grow.
When that urge to mentally curse someone out in your mind pops up, don't entertain it.
Don't go down that ungodly route.
Instead, choke out those thoughts with the word of God.
If that person is a believer, pray for their sanctification.
If that person is not a Christian, pray for their salvation.
When a family member or friend fails you, trust me, they will fail you.
Don't stew on the offense and tally up all the ways that person has let you down in the
past.
Instead, run to the only one who has never and will never let you down.
Go to God the Father so that you can choose patience and gentleness instead of pettiness
and retaliation.
When the desire to believe the worst about someone in this church enters your mind, willingly
decide to believe the best until proven wrong.
Run down the stove of your anger before it hurts you and everyone around you.
How do you stop hatred from growing in your heart?
Second method of extermination by refusing to kill others with destructive words.
By refusing to kill others with destructive words.
So Jesus moves on from what's in your heart to what comes out of your mouth at the end
of verse 22.
He says this, "Whoever insults his brother will be liable to the counsel and whoever
says you fool will be liable to the hell of fire."
Maybe this seems over the top to you.
You may be thinking, "Really Jesus going before the Supreme Court and being thrown into hell
for insulting and slander?"
Isn't that a bit severe?
Well, maybe you won't think that if you understand what these insults actually mean.
That word for insult in the Greek is "rokka" which means empty-headed or worthless.
And that word for fool is "moros" from which we get which English word do you think?
Moron.
That's not just a cute, funny word.
The New Testament uses that word to describe those who were outside the kingdom of God.
So by labeling someone as "rokka" and "moros" you are saying you are a worthless and stupid
waste of space with nothing of value to offer anyone so you can go straight to hell for
all I care.
True Christians cannot lose their salvation by using their mouths for evil.
But a person whose life is marked by this kind of vile speech should question the genuineness
of his or her faith and status in the family of God.
How can you flip people off in traffic throughout the week and then passionately raise your arms
and worship on Sunday?
How can you unapologetically scream at your wife and your kids and then use that same
mouth to pray to a heavenly Father who you were nothing like?
How can you day after day at work belittle your colleagues, your coworkers, your employees,
and then go to a small group and claim that you are a bold witness for Christ?
How can you ruin the reputation of others with slander and then describe your reputation
as above reproach in God-honoring?
You cannot habitually kill others with your words and claim to love Jesus with your whole
heart.
Your words say way more about you than the person you are speaking against.
Please do not underestimate the impact and influence of your words.
You can use your mouth to point someone to Christ or away from Christ.
To smash them into a million pieces or to help put them back together again.
You can use your mouth to give someone hope or to take away the little hope that someone
has.
Listen to what the apostle Paul has to say about how you should and shouldn't speak in
Ephesians 4-29.
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouth, but only such is good for building up as fits
the occasion that it may give grace to those who hear.
No corrupting talk.
Corrupting brings the mental picture of something that is rotten and moldy.
Imagine every single time you use your words in a negative way that this gross odor eaks
out of your mouth and grosses out everyone around you.
My wife and I were first married.
We lived in a garage apartment above the house with a very nice Christian couple and their
son.
We have almost no complaints about them.
Great family, very kind to us.
We had one small complaint.
Once or twice a week they would make a meal that smelled horrible.
The smell would go from the kitchen into the vents and finally into our apartment.
I can't tell you how many candles we lit, how many balls of Febreze we sprayed to try
to fight off this odor.
Somehow those defenses make it worse, doesn't it?
The smell is kind of mixed together to create a horrible uber smell.
It's been 11 years.
I swear to you, I can still smell this meal in my house sometimes.
I know that's not possible.
My wife tells me I'm imagining it, but that smells so offended in my nose that it haunts
me in every season of life.
You may be thinking, "Okay, what's the point of this random gross story?"
Your corrupting words have the power to linger and haunt people for the rest of their lives.
If I passed around a mic this morning and asked everyone to share the most hurtful things
that have been said to or about you, there wouldn't be a dry eye in this room.
Now I want you to think about some of the most hurtful things you've ever said to or
about someone.
Was it worth it?
Do you stand by what you said or do you regret it?
Just given a do over, would you say it all again or would you keep your mouth shut?
Remember your answers to those questions when you were tempted to lash out at others with
your words.
Recognize that you can never take your words back no matter how much you wish that you could.
How do you stop hatred from growing in your heart?
Third method of extermination by seeking after immediate reconciliation.
By seeking after immediate reconciliation.
So verses 23 through 24, Jesus switches gears to focus on how you should address the anger
of others when you are at fault.
Let's see what he has to say about next steps.
Verse 23, "So if you were offering your gift at the altar and there, remember that your
brother has something against you.
Leave your gift there before the altar and go.
First be reconciled to your brother and then come and offer your gift."
Jesus places a high premium on resolving relational issues quickly and pursuing after reconciliation
as soon as possible.
He even puts it above sacrifice, which to Jews in the first century would have been
unthinkable.
Being sacrificed is expected and commanded by God, but Jesus says it's more important
to be at peace with others around you.
He's saying if you're making your sacrifice, leave it there, leave, go put this issue to
bed and then come back to finish your sacrifice.
This would be similar to us hearing, "Listen, if you're shopping at giant eagle, leave your
cart at the register and get out of there.
If you're pumping gas, jump into your car and speed away and don't worry if the gas
nozzle is dragging on the road behind you.
If you're worshiping a church on Sunday, stop singing and track that person down.
Resolve that unfinished business."
Do you have unfinished business right now?
Do you need to ask for forgiveness?
Maybe you need to step out, make that call, send that text or even speed out of the parking
lot.
If that's you, do it right now.
Maybe you don't want to.
Sadly so many of us demand apologies from others, but we're so bad at apologizing when
we're wrong.
Why is that?
Because apologizing requires humility.
You have to make yourself small and put yourself at the mercy of someone else.
Do we naturally want to do that?
None of us do, but it's commanded by our God and it is expected.
It's way easier to cut ties and run than it is to admit your faults.
That's why there are so many marriages that end in divorce.
That's why there are so many friendships that are broken.
That's why so many professing Christians leave their current church to go to another
church down the street.
Well, time for a fresh start.
No one at this new church knows my dirty laundry or my history yet not yet.
Give it a few weeks or months and you'll be looking for a new church yet again.
It is far more appealing to the flesh to be totally unknown and completely unconfirmed
than it is to be fully known and lovingly confronted.
Please stop pretending because Jesus is not fooled.
Stop running away from those you've hurt because your problems will just follow you wherever
you end up.
Do not be lazy and passive about reconciliation.
Just like, yeah, yeah, I'll put that on my to-do list and get to it at some point.
No, Jesus is saying, rip up your to-do list because nothing else matters.
Do whatever is necessary to attempt to stifle that anger that is between you and the other
person.
How do you stop hatred from growing in your heart?
Final method of extermination by remembering what's at stake.
By remembering what's at stake.
Maybe you're still unmoved by Jesus called a crush hatred and pursue after restoration.
You know what God is calling you to do, but you just don't want to do it.
You don't have any plans to make any changes or say sorry anytime soon.
Well, thankfully, Jesus knows how stubborn you are.
And he knows how stubborn I am.
So he follows up his command with a very stern warning in verses 25 to 26.
He says this, "Come the terms quickly with your accuser while you were going with him
to court lest your accuser hands you over to the judge and the judge to the guard and
you be put in prison.
Truly I say to you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny."
Let me bring this first century illustration into the 21st century.
Imagine that you and your neighbor are fighting over a property line dispute.
And during one argument, you get so angry that you viciously attack him.
You were 100% guilty and there are witnesses to back up your neighbor's testimony.
Your neighbor threatens to call the cops, to press charges and sue you if you do not apologize.
But in that moment, you don't want to apologize.
You want to defend yourself.
You want to fight against your neighbor.
You don't want him or her to have the satisfaction of beating you.
But let's follow that to its logical conclusion.
The cops come, you're arrested, you're put on trial and you have to go to prison and
stay there until you are let out.
And even then, you still have a lot of legal fees and you still have to pay out the lost
suit.
Let me ask you, is there any upside to that option, option A?
What do we think?
No, it's all horrible.
But thankfully, there's an option B. Throw yourself at the mercy of your neighbor.
Ask for their forgiveness and seek after an agreeable solution.
If you do that, your future is no longer filled with orange jumpsuits and public showers.
Maybe thinking, well, thanks for the random legal advice, I guess.
But what does this have to do with me?
Well, here's the point.
Hatred is a prison that you willingly lock yourself into.
Hatred is a prison that you willingly lock yourself into.
If you give yourself over to it, if you refuse to repent, there will be consequences in this
life.
You will become very lonely and unpleasant to be around.
You'll be known as the cranky guy or lady at church that everyone wants to love but
doesn't know how to.
You'll be viewed as the human cactus.
Everyone tries to hug you and bring you closer, but you just push them away and hurt them
with jabs.
You will be trapped in a loveless marriage.
Your children will wither away under your harshness and constant criticism.
And you'll wonder one day why they don't visit anymore or call you to check in.
Your friends will drop away like flies one by one by one because they're tired of you
picking fights and refusing to apologize.
Let me ask you, is that the direction you want your life to take?
Is that where you want to end up?
And these final two verses, Jesus is focusing on the penalties you will face right now if
you wrong others and never seek forgiveness.
But over this past week, I couldn't help but consider the eternal penalty for unrepentant
hatred and a continual refusal to seek after the forgiveness of Christ.
Paul is crystal clear in 1 Corinthians 6 10 that revilers slanderers will not inherit
the kingdom of God.
As I said earlier, some of you need to do some serious self examination.
If you relentlessly feed this anger in your heart and it pours out from your mouth and
through your actions, you may need to answer this really difficult question.
Am I truly saved?
Because true Christians choose to love instead of hate.
A true follower of Christ wants to repent of sin, not wallow in sin.
Someone who has experienced the forgiveness of Christ wants to extend that to others instead
of withhold it.
Those who have been changed from the inside out say, "I'm sorry, will you forgive me?"
Not "I'm sorry, but" or "I didn't do anything wrong."
Because none of us are perfect in any of these areas.
But you should be making progress day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year.
Are you kinder, more loving, more forgiving now than when you first came to Christ?
And if the answer is no, maybe you never truly came to Christ in the first place.
If your honest answer to the question of "Am I truly saved?" is no, then your future is
far more terrifying than any earthly jail or prison.
You are looking down the barrel of an eternity of being sentenced to a prison that is inescapable
once you are there.
In hell, no one is released early or given visitation rights.
But I have great news this morning.
You don't have to be sentenced to that kind of eternity.
There is still time to trust in Christ today.
You don't need to carry that hatred or bitterness any longer.
Those burdens will sink you both now and forever if you let them.
Give those burdens over to Christ who was hated by the crowds that you could be loved
by His Father, who was rejected on the cross that you could be accepted, who bore the angry
wrath that you deserve so you could be declared innocent.
Jesus Christ has open arms this morning.
He is calling you to run to Him.
He is ready and willing.
Are you ready and willing to run to Him and accept all that He has to offer?
Let nothing hold you back from Christ because He will withhold nothing from you once you
come to Him with a sincere faith in genuine repentance.
If your honest answer to the question of "Am I saved?" is yes, but you still wrestle with
holding on to resentment and burning with anger, I have a few final words of encouragement
for you.
You may have dug yourself into a pit of your own making.
You keep digging and digging and digging with obsessive thoughts, unkind words, and stubbornness.
But please listen to me.
You only need to stay in that hole as long as you want to.
Nothing and no one is keeping you there besides yourself.
If you want to get to a better place, get over yourself and admit your neediness.
Admit that you need God's help.
Find yourself the truth instead of buying into your own lies.
You should hold no grudges because God holds no grudges against you.
You have nothing to prove to anyone because Jesus Christ already approves of you.
You have no reason to repay evil for evil because the Bible says that vengeance belongs
to the Lord.
You have no defense for your hatred because you have received the greatest love imaginable.
Let's spend some time with the Lord in prayer.
Please close your eyes and bow your heads.
Use this time to confess your sin to the Lord.
To acknowledge how much you need Him to change.
Stop putting on a show and be honest with your Father because He already knows what
you're struggling with.
The first step in finding a solution to your problem is admitting that you even have a
problem.
Don't worry about what's for lunch.
Don't worry about your busy day tomorrow, how your kids are doing in the back.
Do business with God.
Father, we come before you to confess our sin.
Lord, all of us struggle with this in some way at some level, whether we want to admit
it or not.
And Lord, if there is someone in this room who doesn't know you, Lord, I pray that today
would be the day of salvation.
Today would be the day where they run to you and ask for forgiveness for the very first
time.
For the rest of us, Lord, would help us to recognize that we are already forgiven of
our hatred, that the eternal penalty for our sin has been taken away.
But Lord, we are called to love you so much that we must hate our sin.
Lord, help us to hate how we sin against you rather than hate others.
Where we ask for your power, we ask for your strength to grow, to mature.
I pray that we'd walk out of this room as lighter people after giving you the burden
of our hatred and anger.
I ask all this in Jesus' name.
Amen.
