Benjamin Murphy
Small Group Questions
Benjamin Murphy
Sermon Series Highlights
Sermon Series Highlights

Parenting on Purpose

Parenting on Purpose - Part 4

The Turnaround: The Discipline of Discipline

Review:

  1. A Wrong Attitude about Discipline will Make You Discipline Wrongly

    1. Wrong Attitudes:

      1. Correction alone is Enough. (Ephesians 6:4)

      2. Every perceived Wrong deserves discipline. (Proverbs 18:13)

      3. Discipline always equals Spanking.
  1. Will Make You Discipline Wrongly:

    1. I discipline because of my Emotions. (James 1:20)


    2. I discipline when it's Convenient.


    3. I discipline without ever Praising.


    4. I discipline with Improper methods.

  1. A Biblical Attitude about Discipline will Make You Discipline Biblically

    1. Biblical Attitudes:

      1. Discipline is motivated by Love. (Hebrews 12:5-9)


      2. Discipline is about Correction not Punishment.


      3. Discipline must be God-glorifying. (James 1:5)

    2. Will Make You Discipline Biblically:

      1. I give appropriate Expectations.

        • Clear
        • Reasonable (age appropriate)
        • Definable
        • Enforcable

      2. I follow through as Soon as possible. (Ecclesiastes 8:11)


      3. I discipline with Proper methods. (Prov 13:24, Prov 22:15, Prov 23:13-14)

        • Don't threaten; inform
        • Make sure the offense had been committed; verify
        • Go to a private setting
        • Review
        • Have the child assume the position
        • Only hind quarters
        • Allow them to regain composure
        • Encourage
        • Make them appologize
        • Hug; pray

Sermon Notes (PDF): BLANK
Hint: Highlight blanks above for answers!

Small Group Questions (Whole Group):
Read various passages from sermon

  1. What are some wrong ideas of discipline you’ve heard? What makes them wrong

  2. What’s the Biblical purpose of discipline? How does this reflect the character of God? How does this affect how you should go about it?

  3. Give reasons why you should never discipline in anger.

  4. How do you know when you disciplined your child properly? What are the signs you see from your child?

Breakout Questions:

Pray for God’s wisdom for yourself, and other parents, in administering Biblical Discipline. 

Parenting on Purpose - Part 3

The Teaching: Homemade Disciples

Review and Intro:

Ephesians 6:4 - Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

WHO


WHY


WHERE / WHEN


TODAY: - we are going to cover HOW and WHAT

How is a Parent to Teach? Specific Ways to Teach Your Children:

  1. By asking Questions and evaluating life circumstances.

    Deuteronomy 6:7 - You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.


  2. By being an Example.

    Philippians 4:9 - The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things...


  3. By intentionally conducting a family "Worship Time".

What Is A Parent To Teach? Specific Things to Teach Your Children:


  1. Children (1st 5 years) – Teach Obedience.

    Ephesians 6:1-2 - Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER (which is the first commandment with a promise).


  2. Youth (age 6-12) - Teach Character qualities.

    1. Attentiveness

    2. Initiative

    3. Contentment

    4. Gratefulness

  3. Teens (13-18) – Teach preparation for Adulthood.

    1. To apply the Word of God in decision-making.

    2. To find their identity in Christ.

    3. To make wise choices in the area of friendships and companions.

    4. To be strong against sexual temptation.

Sermon Notes (PDF): BLANK
Hint: Highlight blanks above for answers!

Small Group Questions (Whole Group):
Read Deuteronomy 6:7, Philippians 4:9, Ephesians 6:1-2

  1. Part of fulfilling the command to "go make disciples" is teaching your own children. Do you agree or disagree? Why?

  2. Discuss specific ways you are actively teaching your children. If you are not currently doing anything, or if your children are still babies, what ways are you going to implement teaching in your home?

  3. What's the best way to teach/encourage your child to receive Christ as Lord and Savior? At what age (of the child) should you start? How do you know when s/he has received Jesus?

Breakout Questions:

Pray for yourself, as a parent to see yourself as a disciple-maker. Discuss how you can do
this better than you currently are. What 3 changes are you going to make?

Parenting on Purpose - Part 2

The Team: Mom and Dad Unite!

Review and Intro:

Psalm 146:9 - The Lord protects the strangers; He supports the fatherless and the widow.

James 1:27 - This is pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father, to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.

Deuteronomy 10:18 - He executes justice for the fatherless and the widow, and loves the sojourner, giving him food and clothing.

  1. A Message for Married Couples:

    Genesis 2:24 - Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.


  2. A Word for Fathers: Do not provoke your kids, bring them up.

    Ephesians 6:4 - Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.


    How to provoke...

    1. Discipline in anger

      James 1:20 - for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.


    2. Compare your children to siblings or others (favoritism)

      2 Corinthians 10:12 - Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding.


    3. Chastise your child in front of others

      Matthew 18:15 - If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.


    4. Make fun of the child / call him names

      Ephesians 4:32 - Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.


    5. Have unrealistic expectations

      2 Peter 3:18 - But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen.


    ...how to bring them up.

    1. Make time to talk / Interact

      Ephesians 5:16 - making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.


    2. Be consistent with discipline

      Proverbs 13:24 - Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.


    3. Admit when you are wrong

      Proverbs 28:13 - Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.


    4. Look for ways to praise the child

      Romans 13:7 - Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed.


    5. Keep your promises

      Matthew 5:33 - Again you have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not swear falsely, but shall perform to the Lord what you have sworn.'


  3. A Word for Mothers: Make your home ordered and holy.

    Titus 2:4-5 - train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.


    Make your home ordered...

    ...and make your home holy.

    Romans 12:2 - Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.


    Moms: Embrace two areas of responsibility for a holy home:

    1. Guard the home environment.

    2. Teach them how to filter everything through the Word of God.

Sermon Notes (PDF): BLANK
Hint: Highlight blanks above for answers!

Small Group Questions (Whole Group):
Read Ephesians 6:4, Genesis 2:24, Titus 2:4-5

  1. How would you define the role of the father, biblically? Where do you see this failing in our culture? In your home? (only answer last question if YOU are the father)

  2. How would you define the role of the mother, biblically? Where do you see this failing in our culture? In your home? (only answer last question if YOU are the mother)

  3. What does it mean to provoke your children to anger (Ephesians 6:4)? Why is this directed towards fathers, specifically? What happens when a child IS provoked to anger? How can you prevent this?

  4. List the right priorities for mom (discussed in the message, and see Genesis 2:24 & Titus 2:4-5). What happens when these are out of order, ex., children are put above husband?

Breakout Questions:

Pray for struggling families you know - for dads to be dads and moms to be moms, biblically. 

Examine your own home - is it a "holy place", ie, set aside for God? Are there any sinful or worldly things in your home that can be giving your child(ren) mixed messages? What needs to be eliminated?

Parenting on Purpose - Part 1

The Target: Your Child’s Heart

Intro:

READY? Three Reality Checks that Must Shape Biblical Parenting:

  1. Your Relationship with Christ is Priority #1.

    1 Corinthians 2:14 - But a natural man does not accept the things of the Spirit of God; for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually appraised.


  2. Your Child is a Little Sinner.

    Romans 3:23 - For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.

    Review: Romans 5

  3. The Bible is the Source of Authority.

AIM...! My Mission is to Make Disciples of My Children:
What Does it Mean to Disciple Your Children? (Deuteronomy 6:4-13)

  • Worship
  • Walk
  • Work

FIRE! Go for the Heart.

4 Wrong Things to Go After:

  1. Your comfort
  2. Your child's happiness
  3. Applause for yourself
  4. Applause for you child

TEAR DOWN IDOLS - (Rom 8:19)

Mark 7:21-22 - For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed the evil thoughts, fornications, thefts, murders, adulteries, deeds of coveting and wickedness, as well as deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride and foolishness.


LIFT UP CHRIST
Five Things to Teach and Model about Christlike-ness:

  1. Teach them to Serve.

    Isaiah 52:13 - Behold, My servant will prosper, He will be high and lifted up, and greatly exalted.


  2. Teach them to be Submissive.

    Luke 2:51 - And He went down with them, and came to Nazareth; and He continued in subjection to them.


  3. Teach them to Seek.

    Luke 19:10 - For the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost.


  4. Teach them to be Sanctified.

    John 17:4 - I glorified you [God the Father] on earth.


  5. Teach them to Suffer.

    1 Peter 1:2-3 - And while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously.


Psalm 127:3-5 - Behold, children are a gift of the Lord; the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.

Sermon Notes (PDF): BLANK
Hint: Highlight blanks above for answers!

Small Group Questions (Whole Group):

Read Psalm 127:3-5

  1. What’s the best parenting advice you’ve ever heard? What’s the worst parenting advice you’ve ever heard? How do you evaluate what’s good and what’s not?
     
  2. What is the goal of parenting? How do you know (as a parent) you are hitting that goal?
     
  3. What does Genesis 2:24 show as a big difference between the duration of marriage and the duration of parenting? What does that say about how you should go after each of these?
     
  4. How is a child’s disobedience like an idol in their heart? Discuss the following case study:

Ronnie has been told that he is to always make his bed before breakfast. Today, Mom discovers that Ronnie's bed has not been made. Mom thinks, "Is it laziness? Is it rebellion? Is it due to distraction? Do I have all the facts?"

Evaluate these possible responses from Ronnie. How would you respond if you were his Mom? Is there an idol that needs addressed? If so, what is the idol?

It's too hard to get the wrinkles out.

I'm sick of cleaning my room. Hannah doesn't have to make her bed.

"Dad asked me to help him in the basement with the leaking pipes, right away.

I'll get to it when I'm done playing Super Mario."

Breakout Questions:

Pray for parents YOU know who are currently struggling with parenting issues.