Asking is half the battle, don’t live life wondering about God’s truth!
Maybe parenting isn't quite as epic as standing against Sauron, but the darkness we fight against is just as real…and evil. And when it comes to teenagers, we as parents can feel less equipped than a hobbit.
As time moves along and as our kids get older, the attacks seem to intensify. There are many fronts, but we will focus on three areas that seem to be the most contentious fighting grounds for both teens and parents of teens.
Our culture has declared war on God, on His followers, and on the children of His followers. That is simply a fact of our time. From Disney to Visa, every business wants your teen to believe certain things about the world that are drastically against Genesis to Revelation. Politicians, celebrities, athletes, and plain old TikTokkers have an unquenchable lust for worship from the younger generation.
And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light.
2 Corinthians 11:14
These voices raise in volume just about the time that your children decide that your voice isn't quite as important as it once was.
All of us are addicted to our phones or some other technology that consumes our thoughts. Technology isn't the problem itself.
But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.
James 1:14-15
Technology is only an accelerant for sin. If your teen wants to lust, technology can deliver. If your teen wants to covet, there's an app for that. If your teen wants to murder without getting their hands dirty, social media enables unaccountable crimes against digital humanity.
In addition to making sin easier, cell phones enable our students to escape reality. This could be in some hedonistic game, following some trending Instagram account, shouting in some ideological echo chamber, or burning hours of the day one swipe at a time. And eventually, our online avatar resembles us more than our real life faces.
If we don't have time to rest, the Enemy tirelessly advances. If we don't have the energy to fight, the Enemy doesn't have to work very hard. We all feel the strain of our schedules. This is even more true for teens, who may have never known a restful life.
For I will satisfy the weary soul, and every languishing soul I will replenish.
Jeremiah 31:25
A full calendar often means that we don't have time for God. We don't have time for true discipleship. And so, we don't even have time to break the vicious cycle. Here the Enemy destroys the "Best" through the preponderance of the "Good". We cannot sacrifice the most important things for even the second-most important things.
Anyone feel like we are losing ground here? I sure do! Fortunately, this is not our fight alone. In our impossible-to-cross Red Sea moments Moses reminds us that:
The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.
Exodus 14:14
Being silent doesn't mean do nothing, but it does mean to stop whining. In fact, God tells Moses to raise his own staff to part the Red Sea. As Pastor Jeff reminds us, the pattern for miracles is God asks us to do the prep work. Then, He shows up to do the miraculous work itself, and afterward He asks us to follow up on the results. So what tactics can we take as parents in the teenage battleground?
When our kids are very little, teaching them obedience is the top priority. They learn how to manage all authorities, including God, by how they obey us.
The older they get, the more the heart Issues matter. So, when we pick our battles, we must focus on character over behavior. This takes some significant trust in God on our part, because we can't force obedience and expect character to flourish. There is a letting go that must happen to allow their character to grow on its own. Trying to control the character of our kids is about as effective as shouting at a plant to grow.
This means that we must also be extremely cognizant of how our character is on display.
In the battle for the hearts of our children, consistency is far more important than perfection. They will mess up. We will mess up! But, even in mistakes, there are opportunities to deliver the message again with a front-and-center illustration to amplify the message.
Our kids need to be hearing the message of who God is, what He has done for us, and what He expects of us over and over again. Again, we ourselves need that reminder! How much more do they need it?!
The repetition is even more effective if it comes from different voices, while holding a consistent message.
The mission of Harvest Bible Chapel Pittsburgh North is to make disciples of Christ. Part of that means equipping parents as disciple-makers in their home. Another part is partnering with parents to provide that consistent Biblical message from another respected voice. This provides a greater opportunity for the message to land.
This is why Arrow Student Ministry exists. The Arrow leadership team is here to partner with parents of 6th through 12th graders to support these parents' disciple-making efforts.
Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep. Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.
Psalm 127
These verses start by reminding us that it is the Lord that must be involved for any work to be fruitful. This is also where the name "Arrow" comes from. God compares children to arrows, which were at that time handmade by the archers who wanted to use them. Arrows must be properly shaped in order to fly straight (and arrows that don't fly straight are not useful). As parents, we must share our children such that they will fly straight when we someday launch them from our homes. This is discipleship. So, for Arrow Student Ministry (as us the same for Harvest), discipleship is about worshiping Christ, walking with Christ, and working for Christ.
And He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. And He is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything He might be preeminent.
Colossians 1:17-18
In Arrow, we teach students that worship of Christ happens at every point in our life. We do this by studying God's Word as our authority (Jesus is Lord). We do this by praying to God for us and for others (Jesus Is Savior). Our pinnacle event for worship of Christ comes through the annual fall retreat. Here we have the opportunity to spend a weekend away from the normal distractions of life to look directly at the message of the Gospel and make concrete decisions to serve our amazing king of the Universe!
And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.
Hebrews 10:24-25
Arrow is the small group for teens. We do life together. This is why Arrow always has games and fun activities. We invest in them as people to earn the right to be heard, so that we can hold each other accountable. The weekly Arrow meetings provide the consistency in building these relationships in the group and the regular check-ins on their relationship with Christ.
Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
We encourage every student that they need to be serving somewhere both in the church and at home. We have periodic work opportunities throughout the year, but our main working for Christ lesson comes through the annual summer mission trip. It's through this normally weeklong trip, that we see kids have challenging opportunities to work hard for Christ. These trips can be life-changing!
For your students, for the leader team, for students to be successful in inviting friends. Nothing will happen (and we don't want it to) without God's involvement in this.
As has been said, consistency is key. Give us a chance to partner with you by getting them there. Do not let them make excuses for not coming. Do not put hindrances for them to come. Family time is important, but please try not to schedule it during Arrow!
We try to keep parents in the loop on what our plans are, what we are studying, and anything important going on in your student's life. If there are things we need to know, please tell us! If there are things you need to know, please ask us!
The teenage years will fly by faster than we ever would expect (as do all the years with our children). And so make the most of that time. Like Gandalf says, "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” May Arrow be part of that precious time to encourage your children to be more committed to Christ. Thank you for sharing that blessing and workload with us!
The hardest part of being a preacher isn’t trying to fill your sermons with more content but having to cut things out to make sure that you don’t preach for 2 hours! Unfortunately, I had to cut a few things from my sermon this past Sunday morning that I want to quickly discuss here.
Firstly, I want to expound upon something that I was only able to briefly touch on during the first point of my message. Solomon writes something that hits very close to home in Ecclesiastes 7:21-22, “Do not take to heart all the things that people say, lest you hear your servant cursing you. Your heart knows that many times you yourself have cursed others.” Be honest: have you ever eavesdropped on a conversation that you weren’t meant to hear or secretly looked at a loved one’s text messages to see what they are saying about you? We’ve all done something like this because we want others to think that we’re great and only say nice things about us. Is it bad to care what others think about you? Not at all; it would be foolish of me to not give any thought to what my wife, close friends, and mentors think of me. Caring about what others think isn’t bad; obsessing over and being controlled by what others think is bad and destructive. If your identity is tied up in public opinion then your worth will go on a topsy-turvy roller coaster ride on a daily basis. Instead, your identity and worth should be wrapped up in what your God says about you. He says that you are His son or daughter (1 John 3:1-2). He says that you are loved no matter what (Rom. 8:38-39). He says that you are His workmanship and destined to accomplish great things for His glorious kingdom (Eph. 2:10). What would happen if we began to care more about what God says about us than what other human beings say about us? Our lives would change and we would be much happier. Solomon wants us to understand that the wise don’t get easily offended or constantly obsess over what others may say because they are secure and comfortable in their own skin. The wise man or woman doesn’t get bent out of shape when others say rude things about them because they know how often they’ve said rude things out of turn about others as well.
Secondly, Solomon seems to go on a strange tirade in vs. 26-28, “And I find something more bitter than death: the woman whose heart is snares and nets, and whose hands are fetters. He who pleases God escapes her, but the sinner is taken by her. Behold, this is what I found, says the Preacher, while adding one thing to another to find the scheme of things - which my soul has repeatedly, but I have not found. One man among a thousand I have found, but a woman among all these I have not found.” Okay, what in the world is Solomon talking about here and why does he seem to be roasting the female population? If you read about the life of Solomon, it becomes very clear that he had romantic relationships with a lot of women (700 wives and 300 concubines) and a lot of them didn’t go very well. He sinfully chose to pursue relationships with pagan women who ensnared him in the worship of false gods and led him down the wrong path. All throughout the books of Proverbs, Solomon warns his male readers to avoid the temptress and to not fall prey to a woman’s beauty without paying attention to her inward character. Simply put, in these verses Solomon is emphasizing the sad reality that he has not come across many wise people of either gender. Wickedness and sin abound among men and women alike. He ends this chapter by saying, “See, this alone I found, that God made man upright, but they have sought out many schemes,” (7:29). Men are not better than women and women are not better than men. Man or woman, we have all strayed away from the Lord and are in desperate need of His saving grace.
Working at Harvest has been a dream ten years in the making. In August of 2012, I was disillusioned with ministry after a horrible experience as an intern at a church that I invested my life into for years. I was discouraged and considered going down another career path until a family friend recommended that I meet up with the pastor of a new church plant called Harvest Bible Chapel Pittsburgh North. I reluctantly agreed to the meeting and had dinner with Pastor Jeff at the Double Wide Grill in Cranberry (R.I.P.). We became fast friends over a greasy plate of fried lugnuts and to my surprise, Jeff invited me to come onboard as his pastoral intern. Over the next year, I preached four sermons, co-led membership classes, and received solid training from a seasoned veteran. But I had to leave the internship after I graduated from Geneva College and moved down to Louisville, KY to begin my Master of Divinity at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. Jeff and I remained close friends and he always made it clear that he would love to bring me onboard as his associate at some point in the future.
I met my wife, Kate, at Geneva College a few months before my internship at Harvest began and she moved down to Louisville with me and lived with her cousin until we were married on July 26th, 2014. During our time down south, we both felt a sense of homesickness and desired to move back to Pittsburgh. I grew weary of filling my head with information in the classroom that I wasn’t putting into practice. We prayerfully submitted applications to churches back home and finally got a bite at North Park Church in Wexford. After a lengthy interview process, I was hired as their Director of Student Ministry. The average tenure for a youth pastor is a year and a half but by God’s grace, I served at NPC for seven and a half years. I finished up my master’s degree online as I served as a youth pastor. It was such a breath of fresh air to be able to apply my studies in the context of youth ministry.
Kate has her own photography business and she works part time at Bethany Christian Services in Wexford. The Lord has blessed us with two beautiful kids: Samuel Mason and Emmy Elise. Sam is a shy yet hilarious toddler and Emmy is a smiley and social 6-month-old who will definitely want to be your best friend. We also have a goofy and sweet golden retriever named Murdock who constantly keeps our kids entertained. Kate and I cannot express how thankful we are that the Lord has orchestrated the events of the past ten years to lead us to this church. Being the associate here is a massive answer to prayer and a privilege that I do not take lightly. We covet your prayers as we acclimate to a new ministry and season of life. We look forward to getting to know all of you!
P.S. Here is my favorite picture of the kids together.
