This past Sunday, I wrapped up my sermon by expounding upon the end of Hebrews 10:25 in which we are called to encourage “one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near,” (ESV). In other words, the day of Jesus’ return is drawing ever nearer so let’s stop pushing each other down and start pulling each other up. Let us be known as encouragers instead of critics. Maybe you’ve realized that you tend towards negativity and criticism. Maybe you want to grow in your capacity and ability to encourage but you’re not sure where to start. Below are four practical considerations and methods for growing in encouragement:
Filter Everything You Say Through the Lens of God’s Word - I am prone to sarcasm and I can intentionally or unintentionally use my mouth to hurt others. I’ve come a long way from how I used to talk in high school and college but the Lord is still maturing me in choosing my words carefully. Ephesians 4:29 has been a guiding light for me over the past 14 years, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear,” (ESV). Paul provides a convicting and helpful filter that you need to run your words through before they exit out of your mouth. According to this filter, you should never say anything that will tear someone down instead of build them up. This means that you cannot just say whatever you are thinking or hide behind the excuse that you are a “straight shooter who tells it like it is.” This means that you will need to hold some jokes in that would be funny. This means that you need to consider how to phrase a tough suggestion or word of advice that a family member or friend needs to hear. This filter will help you to avoid saying the wrong thing at the wrong time and it will also keep you from saying the right thing at the wrong time. Notice that Paul says our words must fit the occasion. The setting and timing of our words matter just as much as the content of our words. I guarantee that this God-given filter will save you and others from a lot of pain and heartache.
Celebrate the Wins of Others and Speak Hope Into Their Failures - The Lord has been teaching me that an important sign of maturity is the ability to be genuinely excited for the wins of others. It’s so easy to be envious when life is going well for someone else. It’s easy to be threatened when someone in your sphere of influence accomplishes an impressive goal. On the other hand, it’s godly to be pleased that the Lord is blessing someone that you care about with success. It’s Christlike to be happy when someone else accomplishes a worthwhile task. Instead of sulking on the sidelines of someone’s success, get into the game and offer them your heartfelt congratulations. Also, do not revel in the failures and losses of others. Their failures do not equal your own success. Enter into their pain to offer them the hope of the gospel and the comfort of Christ.
Let Others Know That You are Praying for Them - At Harvest, we always say to pray for someone right now when a need is expressed instead of just saying that you’ll do it later and end up forgetting. In the same vein, reach out to that individual throughout the week to let them know that you are continually lifting up their requests to the Lord. Set reminders on your phone to intercede on their behalf before the throne of grace and to contact them via text or a phone call with a message of how you are specifically praying for them. You will make someone’s day by simply letting them know that you took the time to approach the Lord on their behalf. Paul encourages us at the end of Ephesians to be “Praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints,” (6:18 ESV). Be diligent in praying for others just as much as you pray for yourself.
Send Handwritten Notes and Letters - As someone with atrocious handwriting that never developed in appearance since 4th grade, this suggestion pains me. My handwriting is embarrassingly bad but I still try to send out notes to people on a weekly basis because this old fashioned discipline communicates care and intentionality. Paul typically dictated his epistles to someone else who put pen to paper but he was very emphatic about pointing out whenever he actually wrote on the page with his own hand (Galatians 6:11 & 2 Thessalonians 3:17). He did this to draw his readers’ attention to his own care for their souls and to certain truths that they could not afford to ignore. FaceTime, text messaging, and phone calls are helpful tools but cannot replace the blessing and impact of receiving a handwritten letter. Make a list of people in your life that would benefit from notes of encouragement and be diligent in writing at least one or two a month. Guys reading this blog post: writing letters and notes is not a feminine or girly activity. This is a godly activity that will bless and benefit others guys in your life that desperately need to be lifted up and encouraged.
