Concerning Students

In a hole in their room, lived a teenager…  

Maybe parenting isn't quite as epic as standing against Sauron, but the darkness we fight against is just as real…and evil.  And when it comes to teenagers, we as parents can feel less equipped than a hobbit.

As time moves along and as our kids get older, the attacks seem to intensify.  There are many fronts, but we will focus on three areas that seem to be the most contentious fighting grounds for both teens and parents of teens.

The Battleground

1) CULTURE

Our culture has declared war on God, on His followers, and on the children of His followers.  That is simply a fact of our time.  From Disney to Visa, every business wants your teen to believe certain things about the world that are drastically against Genesis to Revelation.  Politicians, celebrities, athletes, and plain old TikTokkers have an unquenchable lust for worship from the younger generation.   

And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light.

2 Corinthians 11:14

These voices raise in volume just about the time that your children decide that your voice isn't quite as important as it once was.  

2) CELL PHONE

All of us are addicted to our phones or some other technology that consumes our thoughts.  Technology isn't the problem itself.  

But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.

James 1:14‭-‬15

Technology is only an accelerant for sin.  If your teen wants to lust, technology can deliver.  If your teen wants to covet, there's an app for that.  If your teen wants to murder without getting their hands dirty, social media enables unaccountable crimes against digital humanity.  

In addition to making sin easier, cell phones enable our students to escape reality.  This could be in some hedonistic game, following some trending Instagram account, shouting in some ideological echo chamber, or burning hours of the day one swipe at a time.  And eventually, our online avatar resembles us more than our real life faces.  

3) CALENDAR

If we don't have time to rest, the Enemy tirelessly advances.  If we don't have the energy to fight, the Enemy doesn't have to work very hard.  We all feel the strain of our schedules.  This is even more true for teens, who may have never known a restful life. 

For I will satisfy the weary soul, and every languishing soul I will replenish.

Jeremiah 31:25

A full calendar often means that we don't have time for God.  We don't have time for true discipleship.  And so, we don't even have time to break the vicious cycle.  Here the Enemy destroys the "Best" through the preponderance of the "Good".  We cannot sacrifice the most important things for even the second-most important things. 

Anyone feel like we are losing ground here?  I sure do!  Fortunately, this is not our fight alone.  In our impossible-to-cross Red Sea moments Moses reminds us that:

The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.

Exodus 14:14

Being silent doesn't mean do nothing, but it does mean to stop whining.  In fact, God tells Moses to raise his own staff to part the Red Sea.  As Pastor Jeff reminds us, the pattern for miracles is God asks us to do the prep work.  Then, He shows up to do the miraculous work itself, and afterward He asks us to follow up on the results.  So what tactics can we take as parents in the teenage battleground?

The Tactics

1) Character Over Behavior 

When our kids are very little, teaching them obedience is the top priority.  They learn how to manage all authorities, including God, by how they obey us.  

The older they get, the more the heart Issues matter.  So, when we pick our battles, we must focus on character over behavior.  This takes some significant trust in God on our part, because we can't force obedience and expect character to flourish.  There is a letting go that must happen to allow their character to grow on its own.  Trying to control the character of our kids is about as effective as shouting at a plant to grow.

This means that we must also be extremely cognizant of how our character is on display.

2) Consistency Over Perfection 

In the battle for the hearts of our children, consistency is far more important than perfection.  They will mess up.  We will mess up!  But, even in mistakes, there are opportunities to deliver the message again with a front-and-center illustration to amplify the message.  

Our kids need to be hearing the message of who God is, what He has done for us, and what He expects of us over and over again.  Again, we ourselves need that reminder!  How much more do they need it?!

The repetition is even more effective if it comes from different voices, while holding a consistent message.  

3) Cooperation Over Going It Alone

The mission of Harvest Bible Chapel Pittsburgh North is to make disciples of Christ.  Part of that means equipping parents as disciple-makers in their home.  Another part is partnering with parents to provide that consistent Biblical message from another respected voice.  This provides a greater opportunity for the message to land. 

This is why Arrow Student Ministry exists.  The Arrow leadership team is here to partner with parents of 6th through 12th graders to support these parents' disciple-making efforts.

Overview of Arrow Student Ministry 

Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.  Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain.  It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep.  Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.  Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth.  Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!  He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

Psalm 127

These verses start by reminding us that it is the Lord that must be involved for any work to be fruitful.  This is also where the name "Arrow" comes from.  God compares children to arrows, which were at that time handmade by the archers who wanted to use them.  Arrows must be properly shaped in order to fly straight (and arrows that don't fly straight are not useful).  As parents, we must share our children such that they will fly straight when we someday launch them from our homes.  This is discipleship.  So, for Arrow Student Ministry (as us the same for Harvest), discipleship is about worshiping Christ, walking with Christ, and working for Christ.

1) Worship

And He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. And He is the head of the body, the church.  He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything He might be preeminent.

Colossians 1:17‭-‬18 

In Arrow, we teach students that worship of Christ happens at every point in our life.  We do this by studying God's Word as our authority (Jesus is Lord).  We do this by praying to God for us and for others (Jesus Is Savior).  Our pinnacle event for worship of Christ comes through the annual fall retreat.  Here we have the opportunity to spend a weekend away from the normal distractions of life to look directly at the message of the Gospel and make concrete decisions to serve our amazing king of the Universe! 

2) Walk

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

Hebrews 10:24-25

Arrow is the small group for teens.  We do life together.  This is why Arrow always has games and fun activities.  We invest in them as people to earn the right to be heard, so that we can hold each other accountable.  The weekly Arrow meetings provide the consistency in building these relationships in the group and the regular check-ins on their relationship with Christ.  

3) Work

Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. 

1 Timothy 4:12

We encourage every student that they need to be serving somewhere both in the church and at home.  We have periodic work opportunities throughout the year, but our main working for Christ lesson comes through the annual summer mission trip.  It's through this normally weeklong trip, that we see kids have challenging opportunities to work hard for Christ.  These trips can be life-changing!

How to Partner with Arrow?

1. Pray! 

   For your students, for the leader team, for students to be successful in inviting friends. Nothing will happen (and we don't want it to) without God's involvement in this.

2. Get students there! 

   As has been said, consistency is key.  Give us a chance to partner with you by getting them there.  Do not let them make excuses for not coming.  Do not put hindrances for them to come.  Family time is important, but please try not to schedule it during Arrow!

3. Communicate issues or questions

   We try to keep parents in the loop on what our plans are, what we are studying, and anything important going on in your student's life.  If there are things we need to know, please tell us!  If there are things you need to know, please ask us!

The teenage years will fly by faster than we ever would expect (as do all the years with our children).  And so make the most of that time.  Like Gandalf says, "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”  May Arrow be part of that precious time to encourage your children to be more committed to Christ.  Thank you for sharing that blessing and workload with us!